eTip #636 - The Strongest Leaders are the Best Communicators

The best leaders in the world have one thing in common: They are excellent communicators. I would even go so far as to say that one can’t be a top leader without strong communication skills.

Many bad communicators have poor listening skills. Instead of absorbing what you are saying, they just wait for their turn to speak again. You probably know someone like that. It can be maddening.

Strong communicators like Warren Buffet, Jack Welch, or Stephen Covey make sure to listen to the other party. They capture the other person’s thoughts and problems and turn the conversation to those concerns. They use the language of their audience to make strong, personal connections.

A smart communicator is not a fast-talker with a smooth voice. The traditional never-stop-talking, always-closing, push-push-push salesman is an outdated trope.

The best communicators find ways to add value to every conversation or presentation. Over time, great communicators develop a sense of situational awareness. They observe the room, evaluate expressions and take note of body language. They learn how to look over a room and gauge its mood and dynamic. They use this skill to adapt their messaging.

Even when they’re presenting their ideas, strong communicators speak to the needs and aspirations of their listeners. They understand that the only way a message will take hold is if the listener wants it.

You shouldn’t just learn communication skills in a classroom. No book will have all the answers. The only way to become a fantastic communicator is to do it often. (Therefore, we have our students present up to seven times in our High Impact Presentations workshop.) But when you get the chance to practice, here are some rules to follow.

1. Don’t be afraid to get personal. You should feel encouraged to build meaningful relationships with other people. Don’t feel like you have to keep everyone at arm’s length because you work in a professional environment. Engage them. People like it when you use their name, ask about their families, and let them into your social circles.
2. Communicate with clarity and brevity. There is no value in being wordy or long-winded. If you waste people’s time, they will tune you out. The best communicators can pack a lot of meaning into as few words as possible. Don’t be afraid to use specifics, but don’t let details confuse your meaning.
3. Earn trust, don’t demand it. Telling someone “you can trust me” is the surest way to make them never trust you. People will invest their time and take risks for you, but only if you earn their trust. That’s done through honesty, helpfulness, and integrity.
4. Drop your ego. Arrogance doesn’t communicate ideas, it just turns people off. Be authentic and transparent, even when it comes to your shortcomings.
5. Let others speak. Communication can only happen when you’ve listened to the other side. That’s the only place you’ll get the information you need to sway them to your side or transfer your ideas. But that can’t happen if you’re always talking. There’s more to be gained by yielding the floor and filibustering.
6. Only talk about what you know. Unless you’re asking questions, don’t speak about things you don’t understand. No one will want to listen to you if you speak but don’t add value to the conversation.
7. Leave value behind. Instead of using conversations or presentations as ways to get something for yourself, find a way to leave something valuable behind. If you become known as a problem solver, you’ll find other people perk up when you start speaking.

One last point to keep in mind: Communication is not about you. It’s about the relationship between you and the listener. Once you’ve built that relationship, your ideas will take purchase.

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